You mom's out there may very well know(if your kids are grown enough) the stage when saying please is a stubborn battle? When they want or need something but refuse it because they WILL NOT say Please. That dreaded word. Which really is not the issue the act of submission is the real issue, the core issue.
Well I am here- again in this place. Urgh!! Yes I know I need to commit to submit and I am- it is a continual process. But I started this blog to share with what I am dealing, not what I have conquered!
What am I unwilling to submit? This child. I freely gave up Jacob. I knew from the moment I learned he was coming that he is in His hands. And all through my pregnancy I was relaxed. I understood Jacob was ultimately was in God's hands, and I knew that was the best place for him. But this child. My evidence of God's grace, I don't want to trust Him with. I don't want let go for fear that He will allow me to temporarily lose this one too. I just could not do this again! I know that scripture tells us we can handle everything with Him, but this, I just couldn't. Thus my fear. I know that I need to act out my faith even though I don't feel like it. It is just going to be a long battle, but I cannot give in to my human nature when I know that I could please Him by doing that which is right.
Surrender. My next hill to climb. The hike will be a slow steep one. Each step will be its own struggle. But I think I am choosing the up hill climb, it has the spectacular view at the Summit!
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3 comments:
2 Timothy 1:7 is such an important promise and encouragement: "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind." This reminds us that it is the evil one who constantly torments us with fear and accusations. Our Father knows we are frail and has filled His Word with promises and encouragement. Even Christ when He agonized in the garden asked His Father to spare Him the coming events. So when we too are afraid, we can be confident that He understands and loves and accepts us still.
We have no guarantees other than that God is in control and loves us unconditionally. He will not give us grace for tomorrow until tomorrow comes and we need it. We do have the grace and faith to trust tomorrow to Him. Corrie Ten Boom’s father gave her the illustration that he did not expect her to carry her heavy suitcase because it was beyond her ability. Neither does our Father expect us to carry heavy burdens….many of which will ever be necessary for us to carry anyway!!
Remember the “Old Testament According to Joylynn”.....God has not failed you....and there is NO "YET" on the end of that statement! We can only trust His Love for the path He has taken you thus far and know He will still be there with you in the future.
Love, Mom
I've missed your blogging Joy. I enjoyed feeling connected to you in that way. I treasure our relationship. I haven't checked your blog in a few days because I've not had an available computer (my has had repairs; it's MUCH nicer now! Thank you Ken!). Friday (1/2) I spent 'getting my house in order' after Christmas and several times throughout the day I found myself praying for you, that nothing would happen to this baby because as I 'told' the Lord, 'it would be too much for her/them Lord'. To read your blog and see that this has been a real stuggle for you comforts me that God knows: He knows your heart, your sorrow, your fears, the hope you long to have but are fearful to have; He KNOWS you. (Ps. 139:2)He promises that He will never, no never, let you go. I pray that this baby will be meant to stay here. Though we know it is better to be with Him, our understanding is so limited and our need to raise our children is God given and consuming. I will continue to pray that God's plan is for little 'Gracie Edie-Sue' or 'Joel-Bob' will grow old in Christ.
Like the names?? Don't do it!
Love you all. A. Susan
Okay, how about Bobby-Joe(l)??
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