Spring bible study classes have begun. I chose to attend the Beth Moore study on Esther. Whoa did I get myself into a deep one. One He is going to use to help me see how He is working. I am accepting continually that I may never understand all of His reasons(if any); this study aims to show me that even when I can't see Him, He sees me and is right here- at All times.
The last year or so has been the hardest year for me in my spiritual journey. I can't see Him, hear Him, and at times I challenge my own beliefs. How can I reconcile a God that is almighty, alpowerful, and omnipresent with a God that allowed my son to die?!
Did you know that Esther is only one of two books of the bible with female names? Did you know that there is no mention of God in the book of Esther? Yet His work is still evident and on its course.
Today in Beth's message she declares that it is possible to miss or not follow Gods chosen path for our lives. The path will not always be clearly marked with highlighted signs for all those to see. However, it will be visible to those who seek it. That is why He commands us to seek it. These past months have been my time of what I feel is fruitless searching for His path for me. And now I can see the path wasn't erased but merely out of my immediate sight.
My faith is being challenged and I hope that this study will help keep me attached to my anchor.
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I share my heart with those who want to acompany me on my journey.
My Commitment
I am choosing to grow in my knowledge and understanding of a perfect God. Even in the midst of times when I 'know' He is clearly no where to be seen.
This is a public declaration of my process through my personal loss. I created this blog inorder to share my heart with my family, who are not close enough to have a cup of coffee.
Missing you all and hopefully awaiting a visit soon!
This is a public declaration of my process through my personal loss. I created this blog inorder to share my heart with my family, who are not close enough to have a cup of coffee.
Missing you all and hopefully awaiting a visit soon!
Jacob Niels
My Prayer
I lift my eyes up; unto the mountains.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from You;
Maker of Heaven, Creator of the Earth.
Oh how I need You Lord,
You are my only hope,
You're my only prayer.
So I will wait for You,
to come and rescue me;
Come and give me Life.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from You;
Maker of Heaven, Creator of the Earth.
Oh how I need You Lord,
You are my only hope,
You're my only prayer.
So I will wait for You,
to come and rescue me;
Come and give me Life.
I Lift my Eyes Up
1 comment:
There is a song I love by Ray Boltz called 'The Anchor Holds'. It says in part: "The anchor holds, though the ship is battered, the anchor holds, though the sails are torn; I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging seas but the anchor holds in spite of the storm". This hope in me has been tested over and over again and THE ANCHOR HOLDS! But only because He first holds on to me. Oh Joy, He holds on to you. He holds on to Jacob. He holds on to Joel. And He's holding Ross. I still question, 30 years in the Lord, I still struggle; bottom line? He's God, whether I agree with how He does things or not, HE is God. I either trust Him to BE God in my life or I trust myself to be god. I don't have enough power for that so in spite of my quarrels with my Savior and Lord, my pitiful lack of understanding, I chose for Him to be God of my life.
Boy, I guess God wanted me to have clarity on that tonight especially. Thanks for letting we work through it dear Joylynn.
Love, A. Susan
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