I hate birthdays.  No really, I do.  They are full of nothing but disappointment for me.  This year was no exception.  Joel tried, I cried.  They never go well.  All the emotion of the day brought up a lot of realizations for me.  I am Angry.  Angry the God has not stepped in and fixed things.

Hello!?!  Are you listening to my heart?  

Why are not expanding our family?

Are you EVER going to expand our family?

Why are you allowing Satan to run so rampant in my life?

Do you want me to be so beaten down so much of the time?

I am tired; please take this cup from me.

Haven't I walked through enough fire?

I thought the worst of it was over,

how much more is going to be thrown on me?

I'd like a break. I'm tired.

And in this place of exhaustion, frustration, and anger I know that I can rest in You.

You are my source for perfect peace.

If I cry unto You, You will give me rest.

I'm crying Lord, Give me Your rest.

Give me Your peace.

I want to show others your love. I want give children that have been unloved the Knowledge of Your Perfect Love.  Please keep them safe until they make it to our door.

And in the mean time, give me Your patience for Your perfect time.